Taoism: shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, "shit happens." Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has happened before. Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. Jehova's Witness: knock shit happens. Trekism: to boldy shit where no-one has shit before. Descartes - I shit there for I am Feminism - Men are shit Vegitarianism - if it happens to shit, don't eat it QUAKERS - excrement happens (don't swear) Einstein - shit is relative Family Gathering - Relatives are shit Politically Correct - internally processed nutirient-drained biological output happens Shakespearean - to shit or not to shit, that is the question New Age - Visualize shit happening Satanism - sneppah tihs Atheism: I don't believe this shit